Reservations With Death; The Morning I Overslept

I can be honest. I am not afraid of who I am

Ever wondered what it is that makes some people so capable of reading other people? Well, let me tell you so have I. It's been a constant question and answer session within myself. Searching for the answer as to what makes these people so different that sizing up another individual only seems to take minutes, their minutes to my months. 

E.I. or emotional intelligence is demonstrated in many behaviors, but one is the ability to lay out boundaries and communicate effectively your interests, needs, and personal rules for friendship. You can be extremely kind to the point people mistrust you, but to be considered Emotionally Intelligent,  not only must you show sensitivity, kindness, and caring but be able to apply those traits with a certain tact. An accompanying talent for communication that allows others to see that even though you are kind, you are not weak. You are able to maintain your personal boundaries despite the numerous attempts to invade your space, manipulate and take advantage of your kind nature.  

I am constantly growing and striving to reach more comfortable, wise, and intuitive personal statuses. I have overcome my fear of confrontation and feel I am assertive. When I struggle in relationships I tend to examine my own shortcomings that may have created the problem at hand. I consciously make an effort not to search for blame but turn instead rather to solutions. Despite personal growth, a part of me must still emulate a vulnerable, and insecure girl as opposed to a mature self-sufficient woman. I say this because recently I again found myself in a 'friendship' with an emotionally unstable manipulator.

As I have a history for attracting people with personality disorders, I have learned to keep my eyes open long into the relationship. This awareness has saved me multiple serious complications in life. As rewarding as that may be, I would much prefer to have the talents of my nemesis's and be able to see them coming from a mile away. I obviously have not yet reach my desired level of emotional intelligence as I still attract the wrong kind. But it is to them I can be grateful for teaching me what to look for in friendships that can be warning signs. At least now I can bail while the door is open rather than allowing myself to get wound up in a spider's web.